At Recovery Lounge and Spa, we work with a lot of parents. When listening to parents of teens and young adolescents, we hear a lot of concerns about teen mental health and about the obstacles that parents face when they try to get help. In this blog, I’m going to share strategies for normalizing mental health, warning signs that your teen needs help, things parents can do to support teens who are struggling, and why Dynamical Neurofeedback is a great resource for teens. Don’t just take my word for it, I reached out to Lauren Brown, LPC at Discover Peace Within, for help.
When listening to parents talk about teen mental health, the top 3 challenges that I hear from parents are:
- Their child doesn’t want to go to therapy
- Parents can’t find providers who take their insurance or are accepting new clients
- The waiting list to get in with their providers can be long
Anyone who reads media headlines or talks to parents knows that nationally our teens are in the midst of a mental health crisis. And yet, many of us still don’t know how to break through the stigma of mental illness and normalize mental health.
How to talk to your Teen about Mental Health
Chances are that every one of our families is going to need support at some time in our teens’ young adult lives. In my opinion, the number one thing that we can do as parents to support our young people and bypass some of these obstacles, is to normalize talking about mental health and create a safety net of support long before they need it.
One strategy for normalizing mental health care is to establish a relationship with a mental health care provider for your teen whether they are actively having mental health concerns or not. Then when issues arise, as they are bound to do with teens in today’s mental health climate, you both can call on someone that you already know instead of beginning this search when your family is struggling and overwhelmed with concern.
When talking to your teen about meeting a mental health provider, you can explain that it’s just like going to their pediatrician for well visits, something most of them have been doing their entire lives. You establish care and check in with them regularly (whether you think you need to or not) and then when you get sick, you already have a doctor you know and trust, who can give you medical care.
You can explain that we treat mental health the same way we treat physical health and that mental health is impacted by factors in our daily lives just like our physical health. Just like we are more likely to get sick during cold and flu season or during a COVID outbreak, we are more likely to have impacts on our mental health during a pandemic and national opioid crisis. This is a good opportunity to talk to them about things that have been going on at home or school recently that could impact the mental health of members in your community.
It’s important to let young people know that healthy people frequently get sick when exposed to factors that cause illness and that there’s no such thing as being 100% mentally healthy or 100% mentally ill. While there are some people who may need ongoing care for their mental health (just like people with long term illnesses) there are people who need temporary mental health care just like when you get a temporary physical illness that needs medical attention.
We can explain that taking care of our mental health is no different than taking care of our physical health. So, just like they would go to their PCP when they have a physical illness that comes up, it’s a good idea to have a mental health care provider as part of their healthcare team that they can see when they aren’t feeling well mentally or emotionally. That way, when mental stress or illnesses arise, you can call on someone you already know. Because let’s face it, with everything our young people are facing in their homes, community & schools, how could they not need a safe, neutral person to talk to from time to time?
Now, of course this approach may not work for everyone and not every provider may be willing or able to take on a caseload of perfectly healthy young people for regular mental health well visits. So, for parents in need of a more tangible approach, I reached out to Lauren Brown, LPC, a therapist who works with teens at Discover Peach Within, and here’s what she had to say:
Warning signs that your teen needs mental health support
Every child is unique in terms of mental health concerns and symptoms. But as a parent or caregiver, you have a good sense of what their “typical” looks like.
- Changes in eating habits, sleep, or other everyday patterns
- A loss of interest or avoiding things they usually love, including socializing with friends, sports and other activities
- Academic struggles that are unusual for your child, such as a sudden drop in grades
- Isolating from friends and family
- Entirely new group of friends that engage in negative behaviors
- Obsessive thoughts that won’t stop, including fear of death or something catastrophic
- Engaging in self-destructive behavior, including drug and alcohol abuse. This can also include self-harm, such as cuts or bruises that seem unusual to you
What parents can do at home to support your teen
- Even if there’s nothing wrong, regularly check in with your child. This will help you have a better sense of when something is wrong and continue to build a line of communication with your child.
- Keep in mind it is not abnormal for kids to avoid talking with their parents, no matter how close the relationship. Try not to take it personally and continue to communicate to your kid that they can tell you anything and you will be there for them when they need you.
- Create an atmosphere where your child feels safe to discuss tough issues with you.
- Emphasize that you will not judge them and explain you want to understand what they’re going through. Try to listen and empathize more and be careful to manage your own fears during the conversation.
- Help your child maintain a self-care routine and healthy coping skills (ex. physical activity, art, being outside, music, socializing, etc).
- Set rules for social media and phone time, including phone curfews. Social media is the number one cause of teen mental health issues at this time.
- Make family time a priority and spend time with your child doing activities they enjoy.
When and Where to Get Help
It can be difficult to tell the difference between typical teen mood swings and when your child needs mental health counseling. Again, you know your child best. Trust your intuition. If your child is displaying several of the warning signs above for an extended period of time, it may be time to seek professional help.
- For most parents, consulting your pediatrician is the first step. While medical doctors may not have substantial training in mental health, many do diagnose, or may be able to refer you to a therapist who can.
- If you have insurance, a good place to start may be to call your insurance company. They typically have a list of insurance-approved therapists to refer to.
- Another great place to look is Psychology Today.
- There are also many Denver resources with reduced or free therapy options. See below:
What to do if you’re having trouble getting your teen to agree to counseling or your provider is hard to get in with when you really need it
Dynamical Neurofeedback or Brain Training is a great option for immediate support when your child is resistant to counseling or is unable to get in with their provider right away. Here are our Top 6 reasons why Dynamical Neurofeedback is great for Teens:
- No Talking Required
Many teens are resistant to talk therapy and when given a choice between talk therapy or NeurOptimal®, they choose NeurOptimal® every time. And for cases where Brain Training can’t and should not replace the support of a professional mental healthcare provider, 80% of users experience greater than 40% improvement in counseling outcomes with 20 or more sessions of NeurOptimal® Brain Training. NeurOptimal. (2014). Efficacy of NeurOptimal® Training [Data set]. Zengar Institute Inc [Distributor].
- No-one is telling your brain what to do, your brain is in charge.
Brain training is different from traditional Neurofeedback, instead of trying to push your brain towards specific outcomes, it’s giving your brain feedback in real time so your brain can see what it’s doing and decide what to do about it. It’s like looking in a mirror and making adjustments to your appearance based on what you see in your reflection.
- Parent-Approved Screen-time
They can relax & watch a movie, listen to their favorite music, read a book, or get their homework done during the session. If they decide to watch a movie, NeurOptimal® provides feedback through the movie’s video & audio.
- Brain Training does not hurt
There is no electrical input going into the brain. NeurOptmial® uses 5 sensors to listen to your brain activity and gives feedback that sounds like little clicks in the music or video audio Watch this video to see what a session looks like.
- Flexible Schedule
It can be easily done during school breaks or vacations, after-school hours, and/or weekends.
- Rental Systems
If coming to us doesn’t work with your family’s busy schedule, we rent NeurOptimal® systems for home usage.
Watch a Testimonial of one Teen’s Story: Things I Can’t Say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ8k1z2tZIg
Want to learn more about brain training with NeurOptimal®? Call 303-242-6938 or schedule a free virtual consultation with one of our certified Brain Trainers.
